BOBS BEEN BUMMED

When you get  T-shirts made to describe how you are feeling, you know things have gotten bad. The first time Bob came to my house with a T-Shirt that described how he was feeling, it said, Diarrhea 70. I knew what Diarrhea meant but I was curious about the 70. He explained that that is how many times he had been afflicted with it in the last 5 years.  I told him maybe it would be better to go home and come back on a different day.  A few weeks later he came back on Ulcer 100 Day.


Anyone that knows Bob will tell you that he is usually a pretty upbeat guy

                                                 (see pictures Below)

                              

Then one night about 5 years ago I ask Bob if he would like a Raccoon Hat....

The fun stopped...

All of a sudden Bob could not even remember his name!

At first he thought maybe it was Kenny....

Or something like Roy or maybe Gene....

Susan Assured him that even if he never remembered his name she would still love him.

Susan ask Bob what he would like to be called, he thought maybe  Barry.

                                   My Name is Bob!

One night several years later Bob came over on Constipation 30 Day. I suggested he come back on Ulcer Day again. Two days later when he came back on Ulcer Day I was relieved to see he was still at 100. As he sat on my couch I offered Bob some fruit. Suddenly Bob had a break through.  My name is Bob!
                                               

                             

 

                          How did this whole thing happen??

                                        What could fruit and raccoons have in common?

                                     (hint: traumatic experience explained in previous blog)





                     Bob's quest for answers!

He searched......

                 

and he searched.....

and he searched.....

He even searched in his sleep....

Then one day....

           
                                                           when he was about to give up...




                                                                He found it!

                                               

Why is Bob gettin Buff?

It all started with a note Bob found on his windshield.

Dear Bob,

Ever since that dumb blog started, nothinbutbob, you think you are all that. I am going to kick your butt!

Tony

Raccoons are idiots anyway

As you know Bob has been looking into adopting two raccoons. So far most of Bob's experience with raccoons has been limited to what he has seen in books and on the Internet. Someone suggested that he should actually see a raccoon in person before the adoption.


When talking about this, it's at this point in the story Bob starts to get upset. His face got red and sweat beads started to form on his forehead. As he paused to collects his thoughts, and in spite of his visible anxiety, he took a deep breath and began to tell me the rest of the story.


" I wanted a picture of me and the raccoon together (to pass along to close friends and relatives) Squatting slowly, as not to startle the raccoon, I slowly and with a very friendly look on my face, squatted down about 4 feet from the raccoon . To give the picture a feeling of togetherness, I pointed my index finger in the direction of the raccoon. Before the picture was even taken, and without warning, the raccoon lunged at me, biting the top of my finger! It was like the raccoon didn't even seem to care about the crusade I had started, or that there was a big bowl of fruit only feet from where we were sitting."


Shaken, Bob said he needed time, alone, to reflect. He didn't leave his house for 3 or 4 hours. It was then he turned his focus from raccoons, to running for office. " I learned something important that day, just because you like raccoons, doesn't mean they are going to like you back." When I ask what his motivation was to run for office, he explained that it is not that unusual of an idea for someone who has been recently honored, to take the next step into politics. "It really just seems like the natural thing to do ." I ask Bob what makes him think people would vote for him, "that's an easy one," he explains, " When I was in 6Th grade, there was a hypnotist who preformed at my school. When he ask for volunteers I put my hand very high into the air and without hesitation, the hypnotist chose me. Just like that, he was like, the boy in the red and blue striped shirt, come on up! As I walked to the stage I could hear a good 10 or 11 people chanting my name, Bob, Bob,Bob. I will never forget it, it was at that moment I knew I was meant for something great."

Vote for Bob

In his special occasion hair, Bob is honored for his work with raccoons

Did you know that only a few studies have been undertaken to determine the mental abilities of raccoons, most of them based on the animal's sense of touch. And that Studies in 1963, 1973, 1975 and 1992 concentrated on raccoon memory and have shown that they can remember the solution to tasks for up to three years. To think that Bob has chosen this particular animal, for his personal crusade. Only a few have shown an interest in this cute little fuzzy beast. As usual Bob took that extra step to reach out where no man has reached before. "

-Stephanie Pauley-

"You need to stop licking my eyebrow during Bob Time"

Looks like Bob is getting goofy again, but first......

"Bob I can see we are getting ready for some bob time, but first there is something I need to tell you....."

What is Bob time?

Bob cares about so many things that if he didn't take time out to "get goofy" he would just lose his mind.


" My wife is great. When I am in a real goofy mood (as seen in the picture) I will just lick her eyebrow, gross I know, but she doesnt mind."

How does Bob's wife really feel. " I am good, When Bob gets goofy, I just think of it as, bob time."